Hi!
I know I said to check back soon, that I had another blog idea.. Sorry I completely forgot what is was.. should have written it down. But you can take a look at my new website. It's not yet entirely finished, but this is the first time since as long as I remember that I don't totally hate a website I have created for myself..
Currently it holds not much more that some things I've written, nothing finished yet, but I'm working on it (currently at page 17 (minus the minimum of two I intend to rewrite, minus the 15 which probably will change over time.. hey it's a draft and I'm new to this ;)))..
Also, in two days I'm off to the US for some vacation time! First a few days NYC and then a week traveling around with some friends! Looking forward to that!
But first, two more days of hellish busy-ness, packing and shopping and stuff..
Good night, sleep tight!
Mart
Monday, April 7, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
The Fruites of Life
Ever since I started reading the books of Kim Harrison (The Hollows series to be more precise) I've been thinking about writing a fantasy story, about witches and vampires and those kind of things. The only problem was, that I didn't have a lot of experience in the fantasy genre. Well, I have read Tolkien and Rowling and probably the odd fantasy book (Jim Butcher springs to mind) on a gray day in may and then there are the large amounts of Star Wars novels I've read, which is not strictly fantasy, but if you pay attention, actually it sort of is. But more to the point, I didn't have a lot of experience with the world of witches and vampires and elven and werewolfs and other fairy tail creatures.
Kim Harrison completely enthralled me with her stories, so I was set on writing something in the genre. So I started to do the research. The first thing I did was browse wikipedia on mythology (mostly greek and egyptian), which is not necessarily the subject I was looking for, but I accidentally started there and I was so interesting I spend two days on the subject.. I really wanted to find more about celtic fairy-tails and legends, but I didn't really know where to look. Then I finally got on track with Wicca, so I ordered a book on Wicca (A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner if you're interested in Wicca, start here!) and a general Witchcraft Encyclopedia (I haven't got it here, so I'll post the exact name later). Two things happened out of this.
The first thing that happened was, that I was amazed at how well Wicca suited me and how many of the rituals described I already did intuitively in my life. It's really shocking to out of the blue find, not only a book, but a whole believe system, that almost perfectly fits my view of life and the world. Of course I have my own opinions of some things and I don't agree with everything that's in the book one hundred percent. But that is the beauty of Wicca, there is a lot of room for your own interpretation and views and gods, which makes it damn close to perfect if you ask me..
The other thing that happened was, that I got interested in Morgan Le Fay, which came from two separate fronts. First there was the name of the main character in the Kim Harrison novels (Rachel Morgan) and the image of Morgan Le Fay on the cover of the witchcraft encyclopedia which I had bought. So I did the wikipedia tour on Morgan Le Fay. She has an amazing lineage (look it up if you are interested). I was also lucky, because I was visiting my mother that day and she gave me the book The Mists of Avalon by Marion Bradley, with which I hit the jackpot. This was exactly what I had been looking for, first of all, finally an interesting King Arthur story. I had tried to read The Once and Future King by T.H. White in the past but couldn't really get past all the dancing and singing that was in my head from the disney version. But the story by Bradley is really good and really interesting. Besides it being about Morgan Le Fay, it also gives more insight in the old celtic pagan believes, which is exactly what I was interested about. And I'm just on page seventy..
In January, after a lot of thinking, I started to write a rough outline for the story and in March I even wrote about 9 pages (the outline is 12 pages, but it still contains some ideas that are not going to make the final cut). Now I'm reading The Mists of Avalon and this has given me some inspiration that fits so eerily well in my ideas about the story, that I'm starting to believe that I have as muse somewhere (Thank you muse, for every inspiration you have and might give me in the future, I love you for it!) helping me out.
Also, I think there seems to be some more links between Morgan Le Fay and Rachel Morgan than only her name if you ask me, although if so, it is a little warped. But I have always been pretty good at fabricating connections that are not really there, so it might be pure nonsense :).
I have done a little writing in the past, but not very much and nothing really seriously although I have always had a lot of ideas (they come to me at the most bizarre moments). But now I am writing this story I come the realize how much I like it and that it even helps me to relax after a busy day and for some reason it even makes me sleep better. But most of all I might have finally found the creative outlet I have searched for, for as long as I remember.
It's a good six months. I have found something I can believe in (which I also was looking for, for a really long time) and I have found a way to express myself creatively. Although I probably would have found them eventually anyway, all this was set in motion by reading the Kim Harrison books. So, Thank You Kim, you are the best!
Love,
Mart
ps. check back soon, I have had another blog post idea today ;).
Kim Harrison completely enthralled me with her stories, so I was set on writing something in the genre. So I started to do the research. The first thing I did was browse wikipedia on mythology (mostly greek and egyptian), which is not necessarily the subject I was looking for, but I accidentally started there and I was so interesting I spend two days on the subject.. I really wanted to find more about celtic fairy-tails and legends, but I didn't really know where to look. Then I finally got on track with Wicca, so I ordered a book on Wicca (A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner if you're interested in Wicca, start here!) and a general Witchcraft Encyclopedia (I haven't got it here, so I'll post the exact name later). Two things happened out of this.
The first thing that happened was, that I was amazed at how well Wicca suited me and how many of the rituals described I already did intuitively in my life. It's really shocking to out of the blue find, not only a book, but a whole believe system, that almost perfectly fits my view of life and the world. Of course I have my own opinions of some things and I don't agree with everything that's in the book one hundred percent. But that is the beauty of Wicca, there is a lot of room for your own interpretation and views and gods, which makes it damn close to perfect if you ask me..
The other thing that happened was, that I got interested in Morgan Le Fay, which came from two separate fronts. First there was the name of the main character in the Kim Harrison novels (Rachel Morgan) and the image of Morgan Le Fay on the cover of the witchcraft encyclopedia which I had bought. So I did the wikipedia tour on Morgan Le Fay. She has an amazing lineage (look it up if you are interested). I was also lucky, because I was visiting my mother that day and she gave me the book The Mists of Avalon by Marion Bradley, with which I hit the jackpot. This was exactly what I had been looking for, first of all, finally an interesting King Arthur story. I had tried to read The Once and Future King by T.H. White in the past but couldn't really get past all the dancing and singing that was in my head from the disney version. But the story by Bradley is really good and really interesting. Besides it being about Morgan Le Fay, it also gives more insight in the old celtic pagan believes, which is exactly what I was interested about. And I'm just on page seventy..
In January, after a lot of thinking, I started to write a rough outline for the story and in March I even wrote about 9 pages (the outline is 12 pages, but it still contains some ideas that are not going to make the final cut). Now I'm reading The Mists of Avalon and this has given me some inspiration that fits so eerily well in my ideas about the story, that I'm starting to believe that I have as muse somewhere (Thank you muse, for every inspiration you have and might give me in the future, I love you for it!) helping me out.
Also, I think there seems to be some more links between Morgan Le Fay and Rachel Morgan than only her name if you ask me, although if so, it is a little warped. But I have always been pretty good at fabricating connections that are not really there, so it might be pure nonsense :).
I have done a little writing in the past, but not very much and nothing really seriously although I have always had a lot of ideas (they come to me at the most bizarre moments). But now I am writing this story I come the realize how much I like it and that it even helps me to relax after a busy day and for some reason it even makes me sleep better. But most of all I might have finally found the creative outlet I have searched for, for as long as I remember.
It's a good six months. I have found something I can believe in (which I also was looking for, for a really long time) and I have found a way to express myself creatively. Although I probably would have found them eventually anyway, all this was set in motion by reading the Kim Harrison books. So, Thank You Kim, you are the best!
Love,
Mart
ps. check back soon, I have had another blog post idea today ;).
Monday, January 28, 2008
Quantum Spirituality
Quantum theory dictates, that when two particles are created at the same time by the same source, they get entangled. This means that every thing that happens to the one particle also instantly happens to the other particle. Whether they are 1 cm apart or they are on opposite ends of the universe.
All particles in this universe are created in the big bang, at the same time at the same place (the only actual place in the universe and thereby also the entire universe). It has been suggested, that therefor all particles in the universe are entangles with each other, which certainly seems very plausible.
What I do not get about the theory are: (1) why do not all particles in the universe then have exactly the same velocity, energy level, etc? And (2) why is it still possible to entangle two separate particles, when all particles are already entangled with each other?
I can think of two possible solutions: (1) there are multiple levels of entanglement or (2) entanglement is relative, like speed is relative. The last one does not explain problem one though.
But what is interesting about this is that, if all particles are somehow entangled with each other, it would mean that we are all one with each other and the universe, in a very real sense.. Which is spiritually very interesting for me, because I really think that we are all one.
Hmm.. I hope we are not all a superposition of a single mind... that might also be a possibility.. Superposition meaning: a possible state of a single object. Quantum theory predicts that an object always is at multiple places at once, until someone observes where it is (the observer has all the power, by intentions).. But seeing that in this case the only observer is the mind in superposition itself, this might not be relevant?
Interesting, quantum theory. It really brings science and spiritualism a lot close to each other!
I advise everybody to watch the movies: What The Bleep Do We Know? and after that What The Bleep Down The Rabbit Hole. That last one being even more interesting than the first!
You are all happy and well! ;)
Good night!
All particles in this universe are created in the big bang, at the same time at the same place (the only actual place in the universe and thereby also the entire universe). It has been suggested, that therefor all particles in the universe are entangles with each other, which certainly seems very plausible.
What I do not get about the theory are: (1) why do not all particles in the universe then have exactly the same velocity, energy level, etc? And (2) why is it still possible to entangle two separate particles, when all particles are already entangled with each other?
I can think of two possible solutions: (1) there are multiple levels of entanglement or (2) entanglement is relative, like speed is relative. The last one does not explain problem one though.
But what is interesting about this is that, if all particles are somehow entangled with each other, it would mean that we are all one with each other and the universe, in a very real sense.. Which is spiritually very interesting for me, because I really think that we are all one.
Hmm.. I hope we are not all a superposition of a single mind... that might also be a possibility.. Superposition meaning: a possible state of a single object. Quantum theory predicts that an object always is at multiple places at once, until someone observes where it is (the observer has all the power, by intentions).. But seeing that in this case the only observer is the mind in superposition itself, this might not be relevant?
Interesting, quantum theory. It really brings science and spiritualism a lot close to each other!
I advise everybody to watch the movies: What The Bleep Do We Know? and after that What The Bleep Down The Rabbit Hole. That last one being even more interesting than the first!
You are all happy and well! ;)
Good night!
Thursday, January 24, 2008
(Monty Python and...) The Significance of Life
You know.. life is sometimes difficult to understand. It sometimes seems to trick you into making something mentally feel less important than it really ought to feel.
Take romantic relationships. Nobody can ever really grasp the significance of the choices we make about these. But every choice in this, tempts us to lessen the emotional worth of our entire life, because we cannot oversee its consequences and the only defense to this problem, the only way to lessen the burden of realizing this, is to lessen the emotional worth of life itself. For how can something be so important, if we cannot possible make the perfect choice about it?
Strictly speaking, this is why we should never give into doubt, with subjects as life defining as this one. The moment we do or do not do something because of doubting its outcome, we automatically diminish the worth of our life, because we diminished the potential worth of the concept of a relationship.
The only way to avoid this problem, it seems to me, is to have some kind of faith in life, or yourself. Because if you have faith that you have made the right choice, you do not have to lessen the importance of that choice, and thereby corrupt the meaning of life. Face it, what else is life about, if not about choice?
This is interesting, because it means that to really have free choice, to really be free, we need to have faith in something or another...
The lessen we can learn about this is, on the one hand, to be careful in the choices we make and on the other hand, to believe in the choices we have made. But most of all to believe in yourself and to always be true to yourself. Though, keep a weary eye out to making yourself believe the wrong truths... Which brings us to the distinction between faith and blind faith. In my opinion nobody should have blind faith if she can help it, but every body should have faith in the things she cannot control.. it seems the only way to stay sane in this world.
And the most beautiful faith of faiths is the faith of love...
I love you all,
Goodbye for now!
Take romantic relationships. Nobody can ever really grasp the significance of the choices we make about these. But every choice in this, tempts us to lessen the emotional worth of our entire life, because we cannot oversee its consequences and the only defense to this problem, the only way to lessen the burden of realizing this, is to lessen the emotional worth of life itself. For how can something be so important, if we cannot possible make the perfect choice about it?
Strictly speaking, this is why we should never give into doubt, with subjects as life defining as this one. The moment we do or do not do something because of doubting its outcome, we automatically diminish the worth of our life, because we diminished the potential worth of the concept of a relationship.
The only way to avoid this problem, it seems to me, is to have some kind of faith in life, or yourself. Because if you have faith that you have made the right choice, you do not have to lessen the importance of that choice, and thereby corrupt the meaning of life. Face it, what else is life about, if not about choice?
This is interesting, because it means that to really have free choice, to really be free, we need to have faith in something or another...
The lessen we can learn about this is, on the one hand, to be careful in the choices we make and on the other hand, to believe in the choices we have made. But most of all to believe in yourself and to always be true to yourself. Though, keep a weary eye out to making yourself believe the wrong truths... Which brings us to the distinction between faith and blind faith. In my opinion nobody should have blind faith if she can help it, but every body should have faith in the things she cannot control.. it seems the only way to stay sane in this world.
And the most beautiful faith of faiths is the faith of love...
I love you all,
Goodbye for now!
Monday, January 14, 2008
Heart Break..
There is nothing in the world as hard as breaking your heart (Although you might think that it is more difficult to break someone else's heart. This is sadly not true unless you break your own heart with it..). And it is even more difficult if you've had all the chances in the world to make it right, but only realize how stupid you have been when it is to late to fix it. Nothing you read, see or hear will ever prepare you for the feeling of it happening to you! You will never ever even be able to know how bad it feels, if you are not experiencing it at this very moment.. It will fade.. I know it will and every time you experience it (which could easily be multiple times for one event, if you have such a strong optimistic and not always very realistic emotional constitution as I have), it will hurt just as bad..
Do you know that feeling you sometimes get when you like someone who already is in a relationship? If you bring that in the perspective of how it feels to have a broken heart, you will never secretly fansy about them splitting up again!
My heart broke a few times already this year. I had come to realize how much I loved and missed somebody and how much I wanted her back. But I realized this too late.. I was stupid and blind and I did not realize my real feelings for this person until it was too late and she had moved on! I had a lot of time and somehow I only saw what I had lost until it was too late.. It is a cliche, but it is a true cliche.. This hurts so much! There is someone who I love and who loves me, someone I could have been happy with for the rest of my life maybe.. and this person has decided that she doesn't want a relationship with me anymore..
So now I face a life, knowing that I could have been with someone I love but am not and that she will probably find someone else soon and probably be with him for ever.. I have to face that someone else will be with her forever instead of me.. How do you face something like that? I don't know how.. I know I will survive, because I think I can survive anything (emotionally speaking (although I don't want to test my limits!)).. but I really do not want to feel this hurt! This helplessness.. that there is nothing you can do to fix it (and believe me, I have tried (and probably still will for some time, knowing myself..))..
Still deep down, I realize that more than anything else I want her to be happy. I really do! Not immediately, first I just wanted her back, but when I think about it, I realize I cannot handle her being hurt! I realize that if someone who I love hurts, I will hurt with her.. no matter what..
I don't know how I will find someone I love this much again.. but I really hope I will..
Do you know that feeling you sometimes get when you like someone who already is in a relationship? If you bring that in the perspective of how it feels to have a broken heart, you will never secretly fansy about them splitting up again!
My heart broke a few times already this year. I had come to realize how much I loved and missed somebody and how much I wanted her back. But I realized this too late.. I was stupid and blind and I did not realize my real feelings for this person until it was too late and she had moved on! I had a lot of time and somehow I only saw what I had lost until it was too late.. It is a cliche, but it is a true cliche.. This hurts so much! There is someone who I love and who loves me, someone I could have been happy with for the rest of my life maybe.. and this person has decided that she doesn't want a relationship with me anymore..
So now I face a life, knowing that I could have been with someone I love but am not and that she will probably find someone else soon and probably be with him for ever.. I have to face that someone else will be with her forever instead of me.. How do you face something like that? I don't know how.. I know I will survive, because I think I can survive anything (emotionally speaking (although I don't want to test my limits!)).. but I really do not want to feel this hurt! This helplessness.. that there is nothing you can do to fix it (and believe me, I have tried (and probably still will for some time, knowing myself..))..
Still deep down, I realize that more than anything else I want her to be happy. I really do! Not immediately, first I just wanted her back, but when I think about it, I realize I cannot handle her being hurt! I realize that if someone who I love hurts, I will hurt with her.. no matter what..
I don't know how I will find someone I love this much again.. but I really hope I will..
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
A Tripp to Osnabruck
Last week me and a group other AI students went on an excursion to Osnabruck (Germany). Here we visited the cognitive science department of the university of Osnabruck. Which was very exciting! They have a very brought approach to cognitive science and AI, that reminded us a lot of our own AI study, here in Groningen. The most noteworthy difference being that they have a lot (a lot!) more robots there! I wish we had some more robots..
Of course, visiting the university was not the only thing we did. We also crashed a party at a catholic student association, who where looking very shocked when we started dancing to their, initially rather slow but admittedly later much better, music (or we just had a little more to drink later on and thought the music was better, that could also be it).
After happy hour, when the drinks where getting more expensive, we moved to some other place (which's name I forget..), where that night it was rather empty. But we did not care, the Tequila Sunrises went for 2.50 euros, so we where happy and drunk :).
When we got back to the hostel I took a shower, on my way back from which, in my boxer shorts, I found some people lingering in the common room, so I decided to join them for a minute.. or the rest of the night, as it turned out.. It was a bit embarrassing though to have to leave the common room through the kitchen the following morning, while people where having their breakfast... and I was not wearing more than my shorts and a towel.. but we had fun :)..
So, the following night we decided to go back to the Tequila Sunrise place, where unfortunately the Tequila Sunrise was a lot more expensive than the previous night. It was also a lot more crowded, which was fine, good even. It was an interesting place, they had plants in toilet bowls with glass on top of them, used as tables. A television on which, presumably, the girl who's bra was being taken off by two of her (also, presumably) friends could see if her parents where not coming through the front door (as that was where the camera was pointed at). Also there was a shower in the male toilet which was only to be used naked, according to the sign next to it (which we considered moving to the couch that was in the womens toilet, but for that it was stuck rather well to the wall...)..
Further more we had a nightly tour trough the city by a night watch man with an interesting sense of humor (although he actually was rather funny :)), climbed a church tower and looked over the city. We also visited the industry museum, at which the very long and dark mineshaft.. anticlimactically ended all of a sudden behind a door, in bright daylight, next to a house..
It was all fun! I had a really good time. Got to know a lot of people a lot better and had the best cup of chocolate milk with whipped cream ever (it was like a soup bowl in size, and it tasted like real coco made chocolate milk! Delicious!).. And most importantly, I got to dance, which I hadn't done in a long time!
I loved it, I wish we where still there!
Cheers!
Of course, visiting the university was not the only thing we did. We also crashed a party at a catholic student association, who where looking very shocked when we started dancing to their, initially rather slow but admittedly later much better, music (or we just had a little more to drink later on and thought the music was better, that could also be it).
After happy hour, when the drinks where getting more expensive, we moved to some other place (which's name I forget..), where that night it was rather empty. But we did not care, the Tequila Sunrises went for 2.50 euros, so we where happy and drunk :).
When we got back to the hostel I took a shower, on my way back from which, in my boxer shorts, I found some people lingering in the common room, so I decided to join them for a minute.. or the rest of the night, as it turned out.. It was a bit embarrassing though to have to leave the common room through the kitchen the following morning, while people where having their breakfast... and I was not wearing more than my shorts and a towel.. but we had fun :)..
So, the following night we decided to go back to the Tequila Sunrise place, where unfortunately the Tequila Sunrise was a lot more expensive than the previous night. It was also a lot more crowded, which was fine, good even. It was an interesting place, they had plants in toilet bowls with glass on top of them, used as tables. A television on which, presumably, the girl who's bra was being taken off by two of her (also, presumably) friends could see if her parents where not coming through the front door (as that was where the camera was pointed at). Also there was a shower in the male toilet which was only to be used naked, according to the sign next to it (which we considered moving to the couch that was in the womens toilet, but for that it was stuck rather well to the wall...)..
Further more we had a nightly tour trough the city by a night watch man with an interesting sense of humor (although he actually was rather funny :)), climbed a church tower and looked over the city. We also visited the industry museum, at which the very long and dark mineshaft.. anticlimactically ended all of a sudden behind a door, in bright daylight, next to a house..
It was all fun! I had a really good time. Got to know a lot of people a lot better and had the best cup of chocolate milk with whipped cream ever (it was like a soup bowl in size, and it tasted like real coco made chocolate milk! Delicious!).. And most importantly, I got to dance, which I hadn't done in a long time!
I loved it, I wish we where still there!
Cheers!
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Californication
The season finally is absolutely brilliant! I'll won't give any spoilers, but to say that I love that the season ends with the same song as with which it began! I am a bit scared about the chances of a second season though. It's a really, really, really good show, but it does not seem to be able, to carry on the same kind of storyline, given the ending.. But then again, Dawson's Creek was also very good at these kinds of story spins, and I believe there are some Dawson's Creek writers working on Californication! In that case, I'm very curious about the next season and I can't wait!! I can't wait at all!
See you!
See you!
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