Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The Notebook of My Life

I have a notebook. In that notebook I write things. Different kind of things, but the one thing they have in common is that they are all important to me. I write about story ideas. I write about philosophical stuff that pops up in my head. I also write about girls I like. I am a passionate person, sometimes the only way to get something or someone out of my head is to write it down. Interestingly enough a lot of those things that I write down have something else in common. They make perfect sense when I write them down, but when I read them back at a later point in time, they usually just don't make sense to me anymore (ok, maybe except for the things I write down about girls, those I usually still can relate to in the future).
A few examples of things I wrote down and I don't fully understand anymore or that I don't get at all:
  • "Now I am who I wanted to be... Now only to find my self in it...".
  • Movie idea: "A woman with an orange headscarf".
  • "Brain Images/Ideas. But don't know how to express them!".
  • "This is where it's about: - Inevitability".
  • "The split-second laps in faith of understanding".
  • "The over my shoulder perspective".
But there are also some things that I still get. Here is an example of something I wrote that I liked to read back. It is written at a time in which I was reading (part of) The Illuminatus Trilogy:

"Enlightment

Maybe the acceptance and lack of taboo of/on sexuality is an act of enlightment? Because is the act of being who you are and accepting the self and building from there on out not enlightment? Wat more is there to seek than peace of mind, body and soul at the end of the tunnel, the tunnel of life, learning, living, feeling, being, traveling, experiencing, seeing. What I seek at the end of that tunnel is wisdom and the purest wisdom, I think, brings enlightment...
... The Search For Light ..."

This are the kind of things that I write about in my notebook, this are the kind of things that preoccupy me, this are the kind of things that I think about.. Maybe I'll put some more of my notebook in here later.

Sweet Dreams!

2 comments:

Elise said...

What is wisdom to you?

Mart said...

Oh, my first comment :)

What is wisdom to me? Good question.. I talk a lot about wisdom, but I never explain what I mean by it. For one part I mean just the idea of it. In the sense that wisdom sounds like something which is nice to have. For the other part I do give some personal meaning to it. I think wisdom represents the knowledge about something fundamental. Knowledge that can't be taught, but either is already present or must be learned by experience, meditation, encounters with god, aliens or ghosts or from sacrifice or suffering.. From life.
But most of the time when I use the concept I probably usually mean with it: insights into the meaning of life, living or the reason for existence.. I'd like to know that sort of things :).